Are you a bum line killer ?
Trisha, HT
I travel by the Metro Rail service to work everyday. The sleek trains, the smart token system are good moral boosters early in the morning, but alas all that goes for a toss the minute I climb on to the escalator.
One look up, and there it hits me right in the face with all its grotesqueness. And not just on the Metro escalators. It even made me choke on popcorn the other day at the movies. I was staring into the dreamy eyes of Orlando Bloom, when IT rose.
I am talking about the VPL - the Visible Panty line, ladies!
For the uninitiated, (most likely those from the male species, 'cause if you're from Venus and haven't heard about it, you deserve to be thrown into the gallows!), VPL refers to that view of a woman's bum where the flesh gets cut into two due to an ill-fitting or badly chosen underwear.
Worse still are the cases of VPL, where a lissome lass decides to don a black number under light cream or pastel shaded lowers. I mean don't they ever realise that the wet look or dark effect is good only for the hair and eyes respectively!
And if you thought this was a rare occurrence, or I am hyperventilating; well then just notice next time 'she' turns around, gets up, or even walks past you. The VPL is everywhere, strangling many a backside in its firm hold.
So, are you showing?
That brings me to the next part, and the reason I have brought up this issue. The world needs to get rid of the VPL, and the only way to do it is through a planned training module.
The first step is to know whether you are a victim of the VPL syndrome? Well if you've noticed people smirk the minute you turn around, or grimace when you sashay up the stairs; you are a VPL offender.
The condition gets worse if your clothes are of a flimsy material or fit you like your first skin. Mismatched colours and a high-rise brief under low waist jeans are some other dangerous conditions that make VPL more lethal than ever.
While it's a huge no-no at the work place, it can also be a social embarrassment when you are chilling or partying. Yesterday night, I met this gorgeous woman at a party. But the minute she hit the dance floor, IT struck and it did really badly.
Her Shakira hip roll move looked like a tightly bound sausage piece desperate to explode! I just wanted to tell her, babes hips don't lie, especially if you've got the VPL. But before I could inform her, she sensed it and, well, this is what she had to say: "Don't you know babes? It's the latest style statement!" Oh well, what can I say now??
No matter what your best buddy tells you, if it shows, it's the worst faux pas you could have ever made, even if your best asset could give J.Lo a run for her money. (Though some of the male tribe may find even such a grotesque sight appealing! But then that's just them!)
Your kit to survive VPL!
Here's a ready reckoner of the inners that will save your derriere's day:
- A g-string (no matter how uncomfortable you think it is, remember no pain no gain). Best worn under fitted skirts. Try them with trousers only in you have firm bum-cheeks.
- Commando briefs or hipster hot pants best for low waist and seemed tight jeans.
- Fitted briefs (Remember, fitted does not mean something that cuts into the flesh) for everything else.
- Skin colour briefs work best under white/cream or pastel trousers. White is your other option, but that's it!
- If all fails, the best bet is to wear a top that covers your bum. And puh-lease junk away those lycra-synthetic white pants, NOW!
So, Ladies and ladies do make sure you were the right pants under your clothes, and spare everyone the blushes. Just do a hip-turn in front of the mirror and you'll know before it's too late.
And yah, while we are at it, do tell me of any VPL sightings that you've had. Remember together, we need to stop it!!
Link to the source
I travel by the Metro Rail service to work everyday. The sleek trains, the smart token system are good moral boosters early in the morning, but alas all that goes for a toss the minute I climb on to the escalator.
One look up, and there it hits me right in the face with all its grotesqueness. And not just on the Metro escalators. It even made me choke on popcorn the other day at the movies. I was staring into the dreamy eyes of Orlando Bloom, when IT rose.
I am talking about the VPL - the Visible Panty line, ladies!
For the uninitiated, (most likely those from the male species, 'cause if you're from Venus and haven't heard about it, you deserve to be thrown into the gallows!), VPL refers to that view of a woman's bum where the flesh gets cut into two due to an ill-fitting or badly chosen underwear.
Worse still are the cases of VPL, where a lissome lass decides to don a black number under light cream or pastel shaded lowers. I mean don't they ever realise that the wet look or dark effect is good only for the hair and eyes respectively!
And if you thought this was a rare occurrence, or I am hyperventilating; well then just notice next time 'she' turns around, gets up, or even walks past you. The VPL is everywhere, strangling many a backside in its firm hold.
So, are you showing?
That brings me to the next part, and the reason I have brought up this issue. The world needs to get rid of the VPL, and the only way to do it is through a planned training module.
The first step is to know whether you are a victim of the VPL syndrome? Well if you've noticed people smirk the minute you turn around, or grimace when you sashay up the stairs; you are a VPL offender.
The condition gets worse if your clothes are of a flimsy material or fit you like your first skin. Mismatched colours and a high-rise brief under low waist jeans are some other dangerous conditions that make VPL more lethal than ever.
While it's a huge no-no at the work place, it can also be a social embarrassment when you are chilling or partying. Yesterday night, I met this gorgeous woman at a party. But the minute she hit the dance floor, IT struck and it did really badly.
Her Shakira hip roll move looked like a tightly bound sausage piece desperate to explode! I just wanted to tell her, babes hips don't lie, especially if you've got the VPL. But before I could inform her, she sensed it and, well, this is what she had to say: "Don't you know babes? It's the latest style statement!" Oh well, what can I say now??
No matter what your best buddy tells you, if it shows, it's the worst faux pas you could have ever made, even if your best asset could give J.Lo a run for her money. (Though some of the male tribe may find even such a grotesque sight appealing! But then that's just them!)
Your kit to survive VPL!
Here's a ready reckoner of the inners that will save your derriere's day:
- A g-string (no matter how uncomfortable you think it is, remember no pain no gain). Best worn under fitted skirts. Try them with trousers only in you have firm bum-cheeks.
- Commando briefs or hipster hot pants best for low waist and seemed tight jeans.
- Fitted briefs (Remember, fitted does not mean something that cuts into the flesh) for everything else.
- Skin colour briefs work best under white/cream or pastel trousers. White is your other option, but that's it!
- If all fails, the best bet is to wear a top that covers your bum. And puh-lease junk away those lycra-synthetic white pants, NOW!
So, Ladies and ladies do make sure you were the right pants under your clothes, and spare everyone the blushes. Just do a hip-turn in front of the mirror and you'll know before it's too late.
And yah, while we are at it, do tell me of any VPL sightings that you've had. Remember together, we need to stop it!!
Link to the source
Subscribe to my feed
No comments:
Post a Comment